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Using a Strap on For Sex

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Strap on

Strap on

For many people, using a strap-on for sex stirs up complicated feelings and ideas about gender identity, body image and self-worth. Some feel that it’s “unnatural” and others fear that their partners will think they are wearing a prosthetic. But whatever the feelings, communication is key, experts say. Both partners should talk before and during the experience about what they want to get out of it, and establish their boundaries.

Strap on-ons are harnesses that hold a dildo in place, mimicking the look and feeling of having a penis. They’re available in a variety of styles, with a typical setup comprising a strap around the waist and an O-ring through which the dildo gets threaded. Some are shaped like jockstraps, with straps over each butt cheek and the waist; others are more similar to luggage straps, with one strap going across the torso and two under the butt.

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Harness play can be incredibly pleasurable for vulva owners, whether they use the strap-on during sex or not. Many enjoy the role reversal that occurs, with their partner penetrating them anally instead of the other way around. Some also find pleasure in stimulating their partner’s prostate gland during anal play, or engaging in clitoral stimulation and oral sex.

But the most important thing, experts say, is simply to practice with a harness and dildo before trying it out for sex. For example, they recommend wearing the dildo while doing non-sexual activities, such as brushing teeth or Swiffering the floor. The goal is to feel comfortable and familiar with the object so that when you have sex, you can focus on your partner and the sensations they’re feeling.

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